Principles
I turned thirty this past August.
In my twenties, birthdays unavoidably brought significant change, and with them, turmoil. When I was in college, it was the time of the year everyone moved between apartments, usually in search of a cheaper place closer to the university (or later, the university bars). It usually included new roommates, new temporary jobs, and all of the unavoidable newness that comes with college life and the start of another school year.
Once I graduated, the August changes started to have more weight. The latter half of my twenties included buying a house, getting a dog, turning down a high-paying software role to join a lab, going to Europe for the first time, breaking up with my girlfriend of three years, leaving the lab to join a startup, and leaving that startup to start my own company.
All of the nonstop change made me crave stability and intentionality.
I didn’t want to continue remaking myself at work and at home; I wanted to start building deeper roots. It was horribly painful to give up things that I cared about, even if it was the right choice for me.
Around my 30th birthday, I started writing down values that I had learned about myself from the previous decade. Most of them came from a fundamental misunderstanding or mistake that I had made about myself and what makes me happy.
Most importantly, I wanted to form a basis for the next decade of my life; one with intentionality, stability, love, and meaning. My goal was to find the guiding principles that had brought the most happiness to myself, my love ones, and the people around me.
This past week, I completed the first version. They are, by definition, a snapshot in time. Maybe after another decade, I will re-evaluate them:
Radical responsibility
Default to taking responsibility for outcomes around you, regardless of the amount of influence you had.
Transparency
Communicate in a clear, honest, and empathetic way. Information should flow freely: give others agency over how they use it.
Keep commitments
Be careful about saying “yes” or providing an expectation. Once you give expectations, no matter the medium, it is a commitment and should be kept.
Embrace reality
Continue to challenge assumptions behind decisions and make sure they are continuously aligned with the facts available.
Localized risk
Make sure that risk is siloed across all areas of your life. A bad week at work should not mean a bad week at home, and you should push to minimize average risk as much as possible.
Meaningful contributions
The goal is not money - it is first meaningful contributions to the world, which often lead to money. Life is short, and every day provides an opportunity to contribute.
Exponential is incremental
See the small wins as building a foundation that accelerate as they grow.
Reduce suffering
The best long-term outcome in any situation is the one that reduces suffering. This applies to people and to animals.
Learn every day
Every day should come with learning something that you are passionate about.
Feel feelings
Allow your feelings to pass without judgement and within reason; and allow others the same.
If you have thoughts you would like to share, feel free to email me at [email protected].
Related
There are no essays which link to this.